Reece

I ignored all twelve missed calls from Aiden in the last day. He clearly wasn’t getting the message that I didn’t want to talk to him. Couldn’t he just leave it?

I was getting ready to pick up Lacey to take her to the beach. We were going to hang out and work on our tans. I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could. Everything else fell by the wayside.

I hadn’t seen much of Max as all my free time was going to Lacey. He was very understanding but it didn’t make me feel any better. It only reminded me that Aiden understood what I was going through.

Any thoughts of calling him to unload went up in smoke. I had ruined that chance. It had been a spectacular mistake. Even now a few days later I still found myself thinking about the kiss that had turned my world upside down.

It was just a kiss. How could if affect me in such a profound way? And the heaviness of the guilt it brought was suffocating. I didn’t know how much longer I could carry it.

But every time I considered dealing with it I remembered what my best friend was dealing with. My problems could wait, she couldn’t. I was dedicating all of my time to her, even it meant skipping class.

She was the most important thing in my life at the moment I wanted to make sure she understood that no matter what she was dealing with she wasn’t alone.

Trying to concentrate on my day ahead I got a beach bag out and started pack some towels, sunscreen and a few snacks. If my friend wanted to spend some time at the beach I was going to make it happen.

While I busied myself with getting everything ready I managed to stop myself from thinking about the boy who had made me question everything with just one kiss.

My phone started to ring and I dashed to my bed to answer it. For a moment I hesitated while I read the caller ID. It wasn’t a number I knew. I thought it might be Aiden calling from another phone to get through to me but I disregarded the thought and answered it. “Hello.”

“Reece it’s Alex,” Lacey’s brothe’s voice was raw with emotion.

I sank to sit on my bed, feeling the ominous feeling that something was very wrong.

“What’s wrong?” I mumbled, knowing it was going to be bad, very bad.

I held my breath for what felt like forever but was only a few seconds.

“It’s Lacey. She’s in hospital.”

My hand tightened on the phone as I tried process what he had just said.

“Reece?”

I swallowed. Hospital. Her mind raced. “What…happened?” My mind was still trying to play catch up.

My stood up and began to pace the length of my room, feeling the panic build to a crushing weight on my chest.

“She passed out. The paramedics rushed her to hospital. She is going to have the surgery.”

Surgery. The last word vibrated through me feeling like my chest was going to explode.

“Reece?”

I tried to respond but it was impossible with the building up emotion in my chest.

“Reece? Are you there?” Alex questioned.

I took a deep breath and released it. “Yeah.”

“She’ll be okay,” he assured me, knowing I was probably contemplating the worst.

No one could say that with any certainty.

“I need a favor,” he added.

I was still pacing the room and I stopped. “What do you need?”

My mind was still racing and I was trying to stop myself from going into a full blown panic.

“Please call Aiden and tell him.”

Call Aiden, the one person I was avoiding at all costs.

“Uh yes sure.” There was no hesitation, I would do it for my friend. In her time of need, I could not refuse no matter how messed up things were between myself and Aiden.

“See you soon,” Alex said before ending the call.

For a moment I curled up in a ball and cried for a few minutes allowing the buildup of emotions free so I could sit up and dial Aiden. Still wiping my tears I listened to the ringing.

“Hey,” Aiden’s voice blanketed me when he answered my call.

I let out a heavy breath.

“What’s wrong Reece?” he questioned.

“It’s Lacey,” I breathed, still struggling not to fall to pieces and give into the panic that wanted to take hold and not let go.

“What?” he asked.

“Alex called. Lacey is in hospital.”

“I don’t understand. What happened?” He sounded as confused as I had when I had first learnt the news.

“She collapsed and was rushed to hospital.” I tried to explain as much as I knew which wasn’t much at all.

“Is she okay?” he whispered.

“I think so.”

“Are you at the hospital?” His voice held an element of panic.

“No, I’m at home. I just got the call from Alex. She is going to have the surgery.”

There was silence for several seconds.

“Are you still there?” I asked, rubbing my temple.

“How are you holding up?” His voice was hoarse and I swallowed.

His words tore me up and I felt a sob rip from him. I smothered my cries with a hand as I held my phone unable to answer his question.

“Reece,” he said, trying to calm me down but nothing was going to stop the oncoming emotional meltdown.

I didn’t end the call I held the phone in my hand while I cried trying to find the strength to pull myself together.

The call didn’t disconnect. In amongst my sobs I could still hear Aiden on the other side even though he was silent. Maybe he understood that no amount of words would help. Telling me that everything was going to be okay meant nothing. They were just words people said the outcome was impossible to predict.

No one had a crystal ball or could foretell the future so they had no way what was going to happen, no more than I did.

And right at that moment I was terrified in a way I couldn’t put into words.

My friend’s situation was all too real and with odds that weren’t in her favor how could I even hope she could be okay?

Each time I closed my eyes I could see an image of the two of doing something stupid and hearing Lacey laugh. It cut into me like a hot knife through butter.

I cried for a while and when I could finally take a breath without renewed tears falling, I stood up.

The door bell rang and I frowned.

Still holding onto the phone I slowly made my way downstairs, trying to wipe the tears I’d just been crying from my face. There was no way to hide the fact I was upset or the red puffiness of my eyes.

I opened the door and Aiden stood in front of me with his phone against his ear.

His expression pulled at me and I bit my lip intent on the pain to keep me from falling into a mess at his feet.

None of the awkwardness from the night we kissed hung between us, it was only the worry for our friend that connected us.

He lowered his phone to his pocket and I held my phone to my chest.

He stepped forward and put his arms around me. I didn’t pull away. I needed him, someone who understood what I was feeling without me trying to put it into words.

I rested my head against his chest and he hugged my tightly. In that moment my anguish was shared and it lightened the load weighing on my shoulders.

There were no more tears, instead I released a heavy breath and his arms anchored me to him.

I just wanted a minute before my conscience creeped in and I was compelled to do the right thing. Being in his arms feeling the way I did about it wasn’t right but I didn’t care.

With my worlds spinning out of control he was the only one who understood what it felt like and it made me feel like I wasn’t alone. It was something I needed more than anything else. Even the boy I was dating as guilty as it made me feel.

We stood on the doorstep of my house for a while before I drew back and he released me.

“You feeling a little better?” he asked softly.

I nodded before I released an emotional breath. “We need to go to the hospital.”

He nodded. “Let’s just catch our breath. We wont be any good if we’re both an emotional mess.”

He was right.

“Come in,” I said and he entered my house. I led the way to the kitchen after closing the door. “Do you want something to drink?”

“Just water.”

I busied myself with two tall glasses of water and joined him at the kitchen table where he had taken a seat. I sat down across from him.

My hand shook as I took a sip, I couldn’t hide what was going on inside.

The awkwardness that hadn’t been there before returned and I didn’t know what to say. Remembering my reckless actions made me feel like the worst person on the planet. Max had only been good to me and I had treated him horribly.

“How have you been?” he asked and I remembered the kiss we had shared. His eyes were unwavering and it was difficult to hold them without feeling the full affect of his attention focused on me.

I shrugged. How could I excuse what we had done? The truth was there wasn’t an excuse for our actions. I could come up with various reasons why it had happened but it didn’t take away the underhandedness of what we had done to my boyfriend and his friend.

“We need to talk about what happened at some point.” His eyes held mine and I dropped my gaze to my glass of water, trying to avoid anything to do with him and that included talking about something I just wanted to forget happened.

“I can’t do this now,” I whispered, barely holding on.

I couldn’t deal with that on top of everything else I was struggling with. I took another sip of my water before setting it back down. My hand shook.

His hand reached over to cover mine and I let out a heavy breath before my eyes lifted to his. There was something more than warmth and understanding, it was something I wanted to ignore, to smother before it had a chance to ruin everything I held dear.

“Lacey needs us right now. We can sort out our stuff afterward. But promise me you won’t shut me out Reece.”

I stared at him for a while before I swallowed. “I won’t.”

It was something that couldn’t be swept under the carpet, it needed to be dealt with but with everything going on with Lacey it was difficult to prioritize anything over her and her ordeal.

I let out a shaky breath. “We need to go to the hospital.”

He stood and I did too. “I’ll take you.”

“I can drive myself,” I felt the need to remind him. Besides the less time I spent in his company the better for me. Being around him was dangerous and in my fragile state I didn’t know if I had the strength to resist something further happening between us.

“Stop Reece. You’re upset and I don’t want to take the chance you might end up in accident.”

His words melted my heart. He cared and that did strange things to my insides even though they shouldn’t have. I had a boyfriend, his friend. Nothing he did should make me feel the way I did. It was wrong but I had no control when it came to him.

But he was right. I was in no shape to drive. I would be no help if something happened to me. Everyone already had enough of their plates.

“Fine,” I gave in feeling resentful.

I was well aware that fighting him on this would show how uneasy I was spending time in his company and that could only mean one thing, I didn’t trust myself to be around him. Each time I looked at him I could feel his lips on mine, I could feel the tingle against my skin as his fingers brushed lightly against it. It made me well aware he made me feel something that was lacking with Max.

I followed him to his car and he let opened the passenger door. I was lost in my thoughts of what lay ahead of us when he started the drive to the hospital. The nervous fear settled in my stomach and made it impossible to think of anything else other than Lacey.

I glanced at him and Aiden looked deep in thought. He was probably just as worried as I was and I felt less alone. He noticed my stare.

My heart skipped a beat as he held my gaze for a brief moment before he looked back to the road. I let out the breath I’d been holding and made a point of dragging my gaze back to the scenery through the window.

Being around him was dangerous. To ensure my relationship with Max survived I had to limit the time I spent with Aiden but in the current scenario where I didn’t know what was going to happen I needed him more than I needed anyone else and that put me in a predicament that I couldn’t figure my way out of it.

Aiden parked the car and we both got out. At the entrance I stopped for a moment to take a breath. Aiden stopped to looked back at me over his shoulder. “You okay?”

I nodded. I had to be. Putting one step in front of the other I made myself walk through the entrance fo the hospital no matter how scared I felt.

When we enquired at reception they refused to give us any details about Lacey. I called Alex to find out which room she was in.

“Security is tight because of Gray,” Alex explained why they weren’t readily giving out any information.

He gave me directions to Lacey’s room and I told him I’d see him soon.

My hands shook nervously as we made our way to the lift and we waited. I shifted from one foot to the other hating how hospitals made me feel. The sterile white walls were unwelcoming and I tried to breath through the panic and the thought of my friend sick and facing the biggest obstacle a person could face.

“You okay?” Aiden asked beside me.

I nodded, unable to look him in the eyes because deep down I wasn’t and I didn’t want to admit that out aloud as I feared it would undo me. Being strong for my friend was all that mattered right then, nothing else.

Not Max, not Aiden, and not the kiss that still made my stomach flutter. I had to try and block everything else out while I concentrated on Lacey and what she needed.

The lift arrived and I got inside. Aiden followed and pushed the button and stepped back. The doors closed and the silence between us thickened and I refused to look in his direction no matter how much I wanted to.

I stared at the closed doors of the lift wishing the lift would be quicker. I didn’t want to be alone with Aiden, as I was aware of his presence so close to mine. I shut my eyes briefly remembering his mouth on mine and how easily I had lost control without even a thought to the boy I was dating. It made me feel like the worst possible person and what made it worse was I couldn’t say with any certainty that it wouldn’t happen again.

If it wasn’t for Lacey’s situation I wouldn’t be standing alone beside Aiden in a lift fighting the attraction I had for him.

The doors opened and I stepped out followed closely by Aiden.

We found Lacey’s room but I stopped. I couldn’t go inside feeling the way I was.

“What’s wrong?” Aiden asked beside me aware of the fact that I had stopped outside her room unable to move any closer.

“I just need a minute.” I took a deep breath and released it trying to stop the panic of the situation taking over. I had to stay calm, if I couldn’t walk into the room with my shit together then it was better for Lacey if I didn’t go inside. My fingers curled into fists as I tried to fight my way through the feelings of hopelessness.

Just breathe, I told myself. You can do this, you have to do this.

“Reece,” Aiden said beside me. I put my hand out to him to stop him. My hand went to his chest and flattened against it.

I wanted to pull my hand free but I couldn’t. My eyes drifted to his. His hand covered mine.